Not out of the Woods Yet

Have you ever heard of Prozac poop out? Well, it is common slang for mental illnesses. Prozac has been known to work great for a while the totally stop working.
I have it. My Prozac has pooped out. I started having suicidal thoughts again last night. I was going to cut myself and just let myself bleed to death. Yes, graphic I know, but that is how I felt.
Let's be honest here, completely honest.   It hurts like HELL to think my kids would be better off without me. Not a normal way to think, but I can't help it. I wonder if I am doing more damage than good when I can't handle the messes, noise, touching, talking, EVERYTHING that is involved with having kids. I push my kids away because I am afraid will spank them or yell at them, so I ignore them. Which makes me feel worse because then I feel like a terrible mother.
It's hard to see how far I have come when I still feel the darkness all around me. I am fighting and battling, and not giving in to the urge to run into the kitchen and grab a knife. I am trying. I worry that sometime I will be too tired to fight any more. Last night, it took everything inside of me not to do it AND my husband was home. DAM IT! &@^$)#%(_*@#&($)@!*^$)&@!^$)*&% I just want to yell and throw a big temper-tantrum and swear.  I want to talk to (well speak very loudly) God and ask when will I get past this? When will I understand? What am I suppose to learn? How much longer? I am wearing out. I am weakening, I am caving, I am on the edge. Not a comfortable place to be.
I feel crazy and unstable. I am praying and keeping myself busy, but I am still at the edge. (deep breath). I know a lot of people have no idea what its like to experience this, but I seriously hope that someone who is experiencing this will read it and know I care. I care because I have been there, am there, will probably be there in the future. I may not have the answers (obviously because then I wouldn't be struggling right now) but I get it and I can offer a listening ear to those who just need to know someone gets it and cares. I am here for those who do need someone.

Photo Shoot

Well, I am really excited about this post because of the pictures:) My good friend, Ashley, did a photo shoot of my family and they turned out sooooooooooooooooo good. I had a really hard time choosing and I already know they will be all over my house in no time. For now, I am focusing on my entry way. Remember THIS post? Well, here is what I used it for.

I loved how I made it looked aged.

LOVE it!



Here are a few more that I LOVED but they were vertical and didn't work for the space I am using it in.

More on the entry way to come, but this is all I had time for. Also, don't forget to enter the reversible apron give away. I extended the deadline until May 3rd. You can enter HERE.

So Long Fair Well

I have a friend who is moving out of state. She is preggy with her 3 child (it's a girl). Now she will have 2 girls and one boy. I wanted to give her a good bye present that would double as a baby gift! So, here is what I came up with!

a tie and matching flower clips for the girls;) The tie can be retied to grow with the little man.

I put pearls in the middle of the flowers.

It's hard to see in the picture, but there is a lime green strip running through the gray fabric. So I accented it with some lime green fabric. Here is the back of the tie. I added the strip of ribbon. I am not amazing at hand sewing, but it works.

I will do a tutorial on how to make the flower clips later. The tie pattern can be found HERE.

Brown and Pink

I created a new onesie for my etsy store. It looks really cute on my lil' woman;)

So, because I am feeling so happy today AND my etsy store has really taken off. I am going to offer all my followers a 20% discount on their 1st purchase. When checking out, put TCFollower in the comments! YEAH! Offer ends April 30th.

Now, on to something I am really excited about! I found a few necklaces I fell in love, but not the price. So, I decided to make my own;)

First up from Gap $29

My version for only $1.99

I already had the ribbon and the beads were 50% off at Hobby Lobby. I threaded the beads onto the ribbon. It was that easy:)

Next up: $78 from Ann Taylor

My version only $5

Beads were 50% off at Hobby Lobby. I bought a little bit of pink tulle and I already had the gems for the middle. I don't usually make jewelry so I didn't separate each bead with wire. I just used fishing line and threaded the beads on. No hassle and it took all of 5 minutes to make;)

Earth Week

Here is the beautiful palm tree in our back yard.

Gorgeous right!?! It provides so much shade during the summer. It has one fatal flaw. Look closely and you will see that it is pushing our wall over.

Call me crazy, but I really don't want to pay for that wall to be rebuilt or have my neighbors who we share the wall with sue me. So, it's bye bye palm tree.

Look at all the carnage left behind:(

Now we have get to land scape back here and I don't know what to do. I want something tall to provide shade and privacy from the neighbors, but it can't be a tree or anything with a big root system. hhhmmmm... any suggestions? Note, I live in AZ where it gets to 119 degrees in the summer so it has to withstand the heat.

To replace the palm tree in our back yard, our HOA approved 2 new trees to be planted in our front yard:) YEAH! We are saving the earth one HOA approval at a time.

Blog Makeover

Have you checked out my blog makeover. Aqua Poppy Design has the best prices (believe me because I shopped around for a long time)! She did all the work, I just told her what I wanted. It turned out AMAZING! YEAH!
Also, don't forget to enter the apron giveaway! Check it out HERE.

Machine Washable Fabric Labels

Sense I opened my etsy store, I have been testing out fabric labels and I finally found some I liked.

I got a custom rubber stamp made at Staples for $12.99. It came smaller than the "actually size" link showed. I was disappointed, but I am in the process of getting that fixed. Anyways, I got some fabric markers at rubbed it onto the stamp.

Then I stamped it onto some ribbon.

 I also tried printing my own labels. I got this at Joann's in the Quilting section. I recommend you bring a coupon for this.

I just used Microsoft Word. I added a simple bored around the text and printed it out. It was that easy!

I followed the directions on the back to make it machine washable. Then I cut it out.

Now my labels are ready to be sew onto my items!

Celebrate the Mom Give Away

To join in the fun of Celebrate Mom with
MADE       and       Ruffles and Stuff
I decided to do a give away!

Up for grabs is this flirty/sexy reversible apron. It's sassy and oh so classy, and just a little flashy! Okay, okay, I will stop rhyming.


















Here's a close up of the pocket

The other side...........

Close up of the pocket.

Now here is the rules, you MUST leave me a comment on this post with an email address to contact you.  One entry per person.

Giveaway ends April 28th May 3rd. The deadline has been extended! YEAH!

That's it! I won't make you do a lot of different things to enter, but I hope that you stay a bit and look around. If you like what you see then by all means, become a follower!

Cheers!
I am selling these aprons soon in my etsy store. There is also mother-daughter aprons. I  also take requests for your choice in fabric for the apron! If you want something I don't have, just tell me what fabric you want and I will get it for you.

Yard Sale Season

It's yard sale season!!!!! I found this old window pain for $3! That's right 3 bucks! I have big plans for this little beauty!

Nasty old paint, nothing a little sandpaper and spray paint can't fix! Look at the details.

My choice in color

Transformer Birthday Bash

Here is the low down on my son's Transformer Birthday bash.


Invites.
I just googled photos of Transformers and found one I liked. Using Adobe Photoshop I added all the information. I printed it off on a 4X6 at Costco. Here is an example of what it looked like.
*all information has been changed*













I went to Party City for supplies here is a break down of cost and what I got.
plates 8 for $2.3. I bought 2

napkins: 8 for $2.19

 party favors: I bought pencil sharpeners 12 for $2.99, pencils 8 for $2, tiny ruler with shapes 8 for 80 cents, coloring/activity book 8 for $3.92, bag to put it all in 8 for $2.99

table cloth $3.24. The total for everything was $22
I set that up on a table out side. (we forgot balloons, but that would have been really fun to attach a few balloons to the table).

 I got some transformer masks 12 for $2.99. These were a BIG hit.

We did a slip-n-slide, small kids pool, and STARTED (didn't finished it in time) to set up a trampoline. The kids had a lot of fun and it focused all their energy into something.

I placed an outdoor rug on the cement to prevent slipping and falling when they were running to the slide.















The boys eventually ended up underneath the trampoline with swords, guns, and masks. It was quite an adventure for them;)

Indoors we had a birthday sign. I won this one from a give away a while ago and I don't remember who it was from. If you are interested in getting one for your family, let me know and I will dig through my emails to find out where I got it.

Daddy drew this large birthday card and it was hanging from our ceiling.


















I cut out his name for privacy, but it says "Happy Birthday (child's name)

SaWeet Transformer that daddy drew. This is Optimist Prime

 And last but not least, the birthday cake.

I took his name and Age off.

Back of cake

Perfect!

My friend from Jesica's Cakes  made this cake for my son. I told her we needed a transformer cake and she did the rest! It turned out AMAZING! It was a huge success and my son LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED the cake. Thanks Jesica.

Transformer Birthday Bash

I have been creating a Transformer Birthday Bash. Here is a little peak to wet your taste buds. I am on vacation right now, so pictures and a suprise are yet to come!